Monday, December 17, 2007

Today

Well today went well and i didn't cry until i got home and read what some on line friends had writen. It was a lovely service and mother would have been pleased.

Here is the Eulogy that mothers best friend Lynn read


Well, you’ve all scrubbed up well! You do realise of course that Jan would be taking photos to scrapbook all this?

I’m doing this for 2 reasons. One because Jan knew that I’m a show-off who does a half hour turn if the fridge light goes on and secondly because I promised. I asked Jan to read ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’ at my wedding. It made her cry so much that in revenge she made me promise to read her eulogy.

Which she would write for me.

Which she forgot to do.

So she stitched me up!

Not as stitched up as Alan though, he inherited Jans mobile phone!

Jan was quite simply one of the nicest, wittiest and most intelligent people that I have ever met. I’ll give you an example of how intelligent she was. She could read Pension and Unison paperwork and understand it!

She also used her wit to deflate pompous situations. In the very politically correct mid-80s Jan was at Southampton University. One day a Feminist society put up a poster.

“ Will any students who have been sexually harassed and feel upset please send any relevant details to Femsoc etc”

Jan put up a poster underneath saying “ Will any students who have been sexually harassed and didn’t like it please send all relevant details to those of us who haven’t and would!”

Jan had an interesting life and one day at work, shortly after we had first met, she was telling me her life story whilst we were on the First floor tidying books. After a while we noticed that it had gone very quiet and we turned round to see all the students leaning back in their chairs….listening!

Jan loved parties and we had lots of them. Winter and Summer solstice parties, birthday fancy dress, in fact absolutely any excuse! Alan would always document the events with his great photos. She and I always used to worry about there being enough food, which led to the famous phrase…”Never knowingly under-catered”

I think John Lewis borrowed that and changed it a bit.

One of our last parties was the ‘Dead Royals’ party. I was having problems with my costume and Jan was having problems with her cooking.

I rang her up in a bit of a strop and shouted “ I’ve just thrown my costume on the floor and stamped on it!” “Good idea” she said “ I’ve just done the same thing with the hot water crust pastry!”

The gang of us also had some great weekends away. Mad times on the Isle of Wight, competitive pudding eating in the Cotswolds….all sorts of larks!

One winter we went to the St Nicholas Fayre in York. We had a great time shopping and Alan had a great time in the Railway Museum.

In the evening we went to Russells, an all you can eat Yorkshire carvery. So we ate all we could. Obviously.

We staggered back to the B&B( which Jan swore had moved further away!) We were halfway up the stairs to our rooms when I groaned and said that we would all probably explode and leave nothing behind but our boots and hats.

Jan said “Just boots and hats? If you and I explode Lynn, there’ll be bits all the way to Halifax!”

Even in her illness Jan was full of self-awareness & wit. After her diagnosis she was taken into hospital quite quickly to have the primary tumour removed. She was assigned not one, but TWO surgeons. Jan said they were putting on a Tag Team! But her brother Jim said “ Nope, ones going in and the other ones going to hold on to his ankles!”

Shortly before she died Jan said to me “ Well its not the end of the world if I die. Apart from affecting few people I wont leave much of a hole”

Jan, for once, you were very, very wrong.

Well, I must stop now but I really have enough material for a double DVD & extras!

I would just like to read this short poem that I found on T’Internet….

To laugh often and much.
To win the respect of intelligent people, and
the affection of children.

To earn the appreciation of honest critics.
To appreciate beauty.
To find the best in others.

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
or a garden patch.

To know even one life has breathed easier because you
have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Well

Tomorrows the day we lay mother to rest and I'm so glad that its happening before Christmas for the kids. It will mean that they can enjoy themselves without feeling guilty.
I talked to Dom about the funeral but i have no idea if hes taken it in or not. Its so hard to tell with him. But we'll see how he manages with it and take it from there.
Mothers best friend started a facebook group to remember her and we are looking for photos to add to the ones we already have. I may end up scrapping them at some stage (whenever that is). So if you have some please can you send them to me at bellatheboss@yahoo.co.uk
I am doing a memory box for Dom and in it i want people to write down good memories they have of mother so he can see how loved she was by other people and how she touched their lives as well as ours so if you want to be included just get in touch with me and I'll give you more details.

This time tomorrow we'll be on our way to the wake to remember her in a way she would have wanted.
I'm wearing clothes i have taken out of her wardrobe and Dom is wearing a new shirt i got for him the other day.
If you are not coming and want to be with us in spirit then could you wear something red as it's her favourite colour.

Going to get my hair cut first thing in the morning coz i now mother would have wanted me to and i haven't had it done for ages. Wish me luck that it turns out well.

I've got some more bits for Dom for Christmas and one of them is driving me mad. How do i wrap up a skateboard? I have no idea. Everything else is wrapped and in a good hiding place so i know i don't have to do that. All i have to do is put the tree up and do the food shopping.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Stuff

I can't believe that Christmas is so close. I'm glad that i started some of my shopping in November as starting now would be a nightmare. Last night i sat and wrapped up all the stocking fillers that i have got for Dom and i think i need to buy more to make up for what he won't have this year. Mother always went overboard with things for him as his dads family aren't interested. I just feel that i have to step up and do it. So I'll hit the shops again next week.
The best thing is that today a friend got hold of a Nintendo DS lite for me for Dom. I promised him one ages ago ad recently found out that everywhere was selling out really quickly. I was beginning to panic as i so wanted him to have it on Christmas day as he just can't go with out. Now with thanks to Wendy he won't have to. Wendy you're a star.

Monday, December 10, 2007

We have a date

The funeral will be taking place on
Monday 17th December 2007 3.30pm
Porchester Crematorium

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Rest In peace mother

On Friday 7Th December 2007 at about 3.30pm mother finally lost her long fight against the dreaded Cancer. It was very peaceful in the end as she went in her sleep. We were all with her at the end.
It is a relief that its all over and there isn't anymore suffering.

We are now just waiting to arrange the funeral. No idea if that will before or after Christmas as this is a bad time of year.

A good friend Dolly (Karen) posted this lovely post on her blog which i think you should all read.

I'll post more when I'm thinking straight