Where has the time gone?

A lot of time has passed since i was last on here but not much has happened.
I think that i have let down alot of people that have been really good to me. I want to make it up to them but i don't know where to start.
I have been really depressed lately and when i get like that i shut myself away from the world and stop doing what i should be doing and this means that people get hurt then i really am sorry.
I do it all the time so that in the end the only person that suffers is me. I now have no one to turn to because of this. Don't feel sorry for me because i have brought this on myself and i deserve everything that comes with it.
I don't have any support no friends IRL. My sister is no support and ny brother lives to far away. My step dad is around but i can't turn to him in the same way.
I know i have to turn my life around but its easier said than done.
I need to get back out in the world so i think that the first step is to get a job. Just something little but at least i will be out of the house.
This needs to be done and get out of the wallowing heap i have been in for months.
Starting now i will start things afresh and i hope i can make it up to all the people i have let down.